A motorcycle cop on patrol watched
as a man in a red Porsche slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to
a complete stop, then sped off.
The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached the man. "Sir,
can I please see your license and registration."
The man replies, "Not until you tell me what the heck I did wrong,
The officer explain, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop
sign a few blocks back."
"Let me guess," said the man, "all the donut shops are
"Sir, I'm going to overlook that last comment. Now, if you would
please show me your license and registration."
The man counters, "Not until you tell me the difference between slowing
down and coming to a complete stop."
"Sir, step out of the car."
As the man reluctantly gets out of his car, the officer begins beating
him over the head with his nightstick and exclaims, "Now, sir, would
you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop!"
An old timer was riding down a
desolate highway when his Harley broke down. Soon a fellow on a BMW pulled
up next to him. "Is there anything I can help with?" the Beemer
man asks. "Yeah, could I borrow a wrench?" the Harley rider
asks. "Of course. What type and size do you need?" Beemer man
asks, opening a sizeable tool kit. "Don't
matter a bit to me. I'm gonna use it fer a hammer anyway." ... from an
early issue of Easyriders Magazine.
Trip on Airforce One to Visit Army Generals - $1,000,000 New Suit - $6,000 Weatherproof Jacket complete with
US Flag Patch - $500 Bulletproof Vest - $6000 Commander in Chief of your Nations
Defense forces using binoculars without the Lens Cap Removed - $ PRICELESS
Woman- She is an angel in truth, a demon in fiction-
A woman is the greatest of all contradicition;
She's afraid of a cockroach, she'll scream at a mouse,
But she'll tackle a husband as big as a house.
She'll take him for better, she'll take him for worse;
She'll split his head open and then be his nurse;
And when he is well and can get out of bed,
She'll pick up a teapot and throw at his head.
She's faithful, deceitful, keen sighted and blind:
She's crafty, she's simple, she's cruel, she's kind.
She'll lift a man up, she'll cast a man down,
She'll make him her hero, her ruler, her clown,
You fancy she's this and find that she's that,
For she'll play like a kitten and fight like a cat.
In the morning she will, In the evening she won't,
And you're always expecting she will but she won't.
Subject: Words from Iraq
One would think that this guy
might be from the 142nd, but without a shoulder patch I'm not sure.
He is for sure from Arkansas though. This
is a classic! Grunts never change....give
an Infantryman instructions to go out and win the hearts of the locals,
and he'll find a way to enjoy himself.... and come home with a memorable
Are Better Than Women
A motorcycle does not care if you are politically correct or not.
A motorcycle doesnt complain about being tied up.
A motorcycle doesn't care when you come.
A motorcycle doesn't get jealous when you ride another motorcycle.
A motorcycle doesn't mind being parked in the ""wet spot""
that it left.
A motorcycle goes good with leather.
A motorcycle is always ready to leave on time.
A motorcycle is never late.
A motorcycle never fishes for compliments.
A motorcycle will let you have your way with it.
A motorcycle won't complain about leaving the toilet seat up.
A motorcycle won't get upset if you come home with alcohol on your breath.
A motorcycle won't make you eat some experimental meal.
A motorcycle won't make you go to church.
A motorcycle won't make you sleep on the couch.
After you have ridden a motorcycle, you're committed to nothing.
If a motorcycle leaks all over the garage, it smells kind of good.
If you change Motorcycles, you don't have to pay alimony.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you dont have to apologize
before you can ride it again.
If you twist your throttle hard enough, you will always get ahead.
If your Motorcycle doesnt look good, you can paint it or get better
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you dont have to discuss politics
to correct it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
Its always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
Motorcycle labels come off without a fight.
Motorcycle labels don't go out of style every year.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles always look the same in the morning.
Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
Motorcycles are always easy to pick up.
Motorcycles are easy to dress up.
Motorcycles are easy to get on.
Motorcycles are fun to ride in a group.
Motorcycles are never overweight.
Motorcycles cant change its mind.
Motorcycles dont care about how many other Motorcycles you have
Motorcycles dont care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles dont care if you are late.
Motorcycles dont demand equality.
Motorcycles dont get cold hands/feet.
Motorcycles dont get jealous if you come home with grease under
Motorcycles dont get pregnant.
Motorcycles dont have parents.
Motorcycles dont insult you if you are a bad rider.
Motorcycles dont mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if
you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Motorcycles dont remember.
Motorcycles dont snore.
Motorcycles dont whine unless something is really wrong.
Motorcycles won't blow you off.
Motorcycles don't care if you have no culture or manners.
Motorcycles don't complain about insensitivity.
Motorcycles don't complain about the way you drive.
Motorcycles don't demand legality.
Motorcycles don't get bad breath.
Motorcycles don't get cramps.
Motorcycles don't go crazy once a month.
Motorcycles don't have a lawyer.
Motorcycles don't have a mother.
Motorcycles don't have morals.
Motorcycles don't live with its mother.
Motorcycles don't look you up in a month.
Motorcycles don't make you go shopping.
Motorcycles don't mind football season.
Motorcycles don't mind getting dirty.
Motorcycles don't mind if you fart or belch.
Motorcycles don't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Motorcycles don't need much closet space.
Motorcycles don't need to go to the 'powder room'.
Motorcycles don't pout or play games.
Motorcycles don't tease you or play hard to get.
Motorcycles don't tell you to mow the grass.
Motorcycles don't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
Motorcycles don't use up your toilet paper.
Motorcycles don't wear a bra.
Motorcycles don't worry about someone walking in.
Motorcycles don't worry about waking the kids.
Motorcycles go down the road easy.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles never argue with you.
Motorcycles never ask for the remote.
Motorcycles never ask if an accessory makes it look fat.
Motorcycles never change the station.
Motorcycles never complain when you dont stop and ask for directions.
Motorcycles never complain when you take it somewhere.
Motorcycles never have a headache.
Motorcycles never say no.
Motorcycles never talk back.
Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Motorcycles won't run off with your credit cards.
Motorcycles curves never sag.
No matter how many times you ride it, the motorcycle is still worth
Oil stains wash out.
One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle
in the basement.
Road rash heals.
When motorcycles get old you trade it out.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
When you go shopping, you know you can always pick up a motorcycle.
When your motorcycle is gone, you just get another.
With the odometer on zero, you always know that you are the first one
to ride a motorcycle.
You can always talk to your motorcycle.
You can choke your motorcycle.
You can dress warmly and still ride a frigid motorcycle.
You can enjoy a motorcycle all month.
You can have more than one motorcycle.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can legally rent a motorcycle.
You can ride a motorcycle all night.
You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it wont get
You can ride a motorcycle in public.
You can ride more than one motorcycle a night and not feel guilty.
You can share a motorcycle with your friends.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
You can upgrade your motorcycle at any time.
You can't catch anything but euphoria from a motorcycle.
You dont have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You dont have to convince your Motorcycle that youre a motorcyclist
and that you think that all Motorcycles are equals.
You dont have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register
You dont have to pay child support to an ex-motorcycle.
You dont have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
You dont have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
You don't have to wash a motorcycle before it looks good.
You don't have to wine and dine a motorcycle.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the
old one is worn.
You rarely (if ever) find motorcycle labels on the shower curtain rod.
Your Motorcycle doesnt care what youre wearing when you
take it out.
Your motorcycle doesnt get mad when you ignore it for a month
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Your motorcycle will always wait patiently for you in the garage.
Your motorcycle wont leave you for another rider.
Your motorcycle wont wake you up at 2:00 AM and ask you if you
Your parents dont remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after
you dump it.